


two hearts, one love

by bensmitchell



Category: EastEnders (TV)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mutual Pining, Parallels, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-09
Updated: 2020-01-09
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:33:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22188673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bensmitchell/pseuds/bensmitchell
Summary: My version of the scenes that will take place on Monday the 13th of January and potentially Tuesday the 14th of January.Callum returns from his time away, eager to fix his relationship with Ben. Will Ben hear him out?Will two hearts sharing the same love be enough?
Relationships: Callum "Halfway" Highway/Ben Mitchell
Comments: 1
Kudos: 55





	two hearts, one love

**Author's Note:**

> My version of the scenes that are due to take place next week. 
> 
> Any feedback/kudos is much appreciated!

Walking out of the station, Callum felt familiarity rush through his veins. He was home, finally. One week turning into three, potential to turn into forever. He was hesitant about returning, unsure about if there was anything to return for. Even after three weeks away, his mind was still consumed with the thought of him. His smile, his laughter, his warmth. Ben Mitchell. 

He sees through his facade. So often Ben puts up a front, acts the hard man. Nobody sees the pain in his eyes when his dad shuns him, the despair at not being invited to yet another family dinner. That’s all it is, a facade. A wall he puts up to derail the pain. Callum sees right through it. “I don’t deserve you” Ben so often uttered to him, head resting in Callum’s lap. I decide who I deserve.

They were a family, dysfunctional but so full of love. For the first time in his life, Callum felt happy. He remembers shouting at Stuart “my first shot of happiness and all you want to do is ruin it.” No need. Callum thinks. They did a good job of that themselves. If he hadn’t of just opened his mou- 

His mind longs to go back to that night, that night that broke his heart in two. Callum had never experienced heartbreak quite like it before. Sure, he had a lot of feelings for Whitney but they didn’t match up to the enormity of the ones he felt for Ben. Ben. The name he’s vowed to keep off his lips. Never did Callum think saying “I love you” would course such disarray. 

“I don’t love you, I don’t love you and I don’t want your love.” Hearing them words made Callum stumble, knocked the air straight out of his lungs. Although it hadn’t been long he knew he loved Ben. The empty box of shreddies sitting on the counter, the leftover milk slightly staining the counter. He missed the little things. The stupid pictures him and Lexi sent him whilst at the parlour. The times he skived to spend the afternoon with them. 

You’re in that world Ben. Every single part of it. You fill my thoughts throughout every moment of the day. Whenever I see you? My heart races. Even the mention of your name makes my heart soar. I’m in love with you Ben, real and proper love. It is beautiful. It is. 

I’ll show you. Callum thinks, I’m not backing down that easily.

Arriving at the flat, Callum places his bag down on the counter. He takes in the view of the room, sees how empty it is now Christmas has left. He remembers putting the decorations up with Ben, laughing at him as he failed to reach the top of the ceiling. His eyes scan across the room, sees the tinsel hanging out of a box located on the sofa. He moves along to the spot, fingers tracing the outlines, picturing it around Ben once more. He longs to breathe it in, wonders if he still smells of him- 

“Alright bruv? Didn’t know you were returning.” Stuart says to Callum, sweeping him up in a hug, tinsel dropping to the floor. Occupied in his thoughts, Callum failed to hear the door open, Rainie entering in tow. 

“Callum! Come here.” Rainie exclaims, enveloping Callum in a hug. 

“Alright?” Callum questions, head tilted, pleading with them both to avoid the obvious. 

“Yeah, god mate, you should see Ben. State of him! I saw him the other night right-“ 

“How was Christmas? Did little Abi enjoy it?” 

Realising the change in subject, Rainie speaks. 

“Yeah, it was good. You were missed though.” 

Callum didn’t know how to react. His plans for Christmas had always been with Ben. Morning at the Beale’s followed by an afternoon with the Mitchell’s. When he told his brother about his departure he never mentioned any plans, didn’t try to stop him from going. He was probably pleased with the break-up, his relationship with Ben still strained. 

“I’m gonna go get sorted, maybe go see Lexi. I haven’t had a chance to see her, give her the gifts I bought. I shouldn’t be long.” Callum states, placing his bag back into his bedroom. The bed remained unmade, Ben’s glasses hanging from the bedside table. He pockets them, places them back in his case. 

May aswell face the music, he thinks. Mind focused on one place in particular. 

Walking over to the Beale household brought a whole new type of nervousness to Callum. He hadn’t seen Ben in three weeks. The last words uttered to him being “we’re done”. He didn’t know how he’d react, didn’t know if he’d want to see him, if he’d be bothered. He had to do this, for Lexi. The little girl who snuck up on his life, who he vowed to love no matter what. He hoped he was here, hoped he’d take back every word he said. You’re in my world Callum, you’re in my- 

“Callum!” Lexi screams, racing down the square. Callum longs to look up but is scared by what he could be faced with. Stuart’s words echo through his brain..

“God the state of him!” 

Was he struggling as much as he was? 

“Sorry, it’s only me.” 

Callum didn’t know whether to be relieved or disheartened at the sound of Lola’s voice. As good as it was to see her, he couldn’t help but feel disappointed at the lack of Ben. Three weeks without him felt like a lifetime. 

“He’s an idiot, by the way. Tried talking sense to him but you know him, currently moping around feeling sorry for himself.” 

Do I? Callum thought. I don’t know anything anymore. All I feel is this overwhelming sense of pain. 

“How was your Christmas darling? Was Santa good to you?” Callum crouched down, scooping Lexi into his arms. 

“The best! I missed you Callum. I told Dad to call you, said you’d come back. You would have, wouldn’t you?” Lexi pleads, eyes locked on Callum’s.

Callum breathes in, out, blinks furiously to stop the tears. 

I’ll go anywhere that you are… 

“Of course darling, I’m sorry I couldn’t be here. I had some business to sort out, I’m back now though. I’m not going anywhere.” Callum reassured her. 

He knew deep down Ben wouldn’t have mentioned anything to Lexi. Her and Callum were building a relationship that Callum was keen to continue. At the age of 7 he was unsure about if she’d even understand. 

Eager to change the subject, Callum brings forward the new bag placed in his hand, bulging with Lexi’s presents. 

“Are those for me?” Lexi questions, eyes gleaming at the packaging poking out of the top. 

“Sure are, there you go. Do you know where he-“ 

“Car lot. Won’t go anywhere else these days, barely see him.” Lola says, taking the bag from Callum. 

“Thanks Callum, love you.” 

“Love you too darling, I’ll see you soon, ok?” Callum bends down to hug her one last time before departing, eyes stuck firmly on the car lot. 

“We’re closed!” Callum hears, knocking persistently on the door. 

“Take the hint you fuc-“ 

Ben freezes at the sight that beholds him. 

“Callum? What are you doing here?” Ben says, wobbly on his feet. 

The smell of booze overwhelms Callum. He looks upon the desk, half a bottle of whiskey gone. He rubs his face, stops himself from thinking back to the few bottles he drank one night to dwell the pain, stop himself from- 

“Thought I was meant to be the deaf one.” Ben laughs, places his legs across the desk. Takes a drink, then another. 

“Glad to see you are enjoying yourself.” Callum scoffs, sits down on the chair opposite. 

“What do you want me to do Callum? You were the one who left for three weeks? Very jolly” 

“Don’t turn this around on me Ben. I’m so sorry the thought of spending Christmas without you was unbearable. That I couldn’t cope with that fact that my own boyfriend didn’t want me around.” 

“I ain’t your boyfriend, mate. Not anymore.” 

“I know. I can’t forget, even if I wanted to I can’t. Does any part of you care?” 

“Care? Callum, I did it to protect you. I don’t know how many times I have to say it for it to get through your thick head. I’m sorry you can’t see that I’m trying to not cause you any pai-“ 

“Don’t you dare even say that! Not cause me any pain? What, so you break up with me and I’m just meant to accept it? Am I meant to thank you? Thank you, Ben. Thanks for breaking my heart, thanks for lying to me.” 

Ben stands up from the desk, Callum’s seat now empty. He’s pacing, mind raging, thoughts angry. Ben walks over to him, places his thumb under his chin. 

“You were going to get hurt either way.” Ben says, eyes facing up towards Callum’s. Them eyes. The eyes he’s scanned every room for these past three weeks. 

“That wasn’t your choice to make, it isn’t your choice to make!” Callum pushes Ben back against the wall, looks towards his lips, flickers back up to his eyes. 

“I decide who I deserve. I wanna try, you and me, I- I’m ready. You’ve went back on it once, we work Ben. You know we work.” Callum pleads with Ben, traces his fingers across the outline of his lips. 

“We don’t. I don’t love you, Callum.” Ben says, eyes towards the ground. 

“You can’t even look at me Ben, you can’t even face the facts. It’s right in front of you, I’m right in front of you!” Callum thrusts his fingers through his hair, forces Ben to look him in the eye. 

“Say it.” 

“I can’t Callum. I can’t. I’m sorry.” 

“Say it to my face Ben, please, you at least owe me that.” Callum shouts, tears streaming down his face. 

“I CAN’T! I love you, ok? I’m in love with you but I can’t bring you into this world. I can’t. I can’t let another person die because of me, I can’t allow it! You are better off without me.” 

“That isn’t your choice to make. I’m not giving up on you. I’m never giving up on you. Just know that. I’ll give you space but you know what’s right, what’s true-“ Callum places his hand onto Ben’s heart, hears the beating intensify. He grabs Ben’s hand, placing it in over his heart. 

“Two hearts. One love. Don’t give up on us Ben.” Callum takes his hand, un-grasps it out of Ben’s hold. 

The door shutting only heightens Ben’s cry. 

Your world is soft, warm, everything in it is good. 

I’m sorry I can’t be the person you truly deserve.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!


End file.
